Who knew to apply business tactics to parenting. Think about it. Your boss gives you a job description and actually gives you an orientation and ongoing training to truly ensure that you understand your role and that you are good at it. Then, why in the world would we not do the same for our kids. We simply expect them to know and go from there. Do as I say and not as I do. Why do you keep asking all those questions. We don’t even give children the opportunity to truly learn their position before we start chastising them. So right now let’s make this first exercise really simple. Simply ask your child or children. What are your expectations of me as a parent? Then, go over your expectations for them, as children. I did this with my daughters over 5 years ago, and I am including it, so you can see exactly how powerful this tool can be.
I just wanted you to know that I have been thinking about you a lot on this trip. I am really looking forward to going on a trip with you. We really had a great time with you when you went with us to Notre Dame! I am hopeful that you bring all A’s on home b/c you are going to be presently surprised!!!! Ok, here are my expectations.
1. I expect you to listen to what we say to you and learn from it. Example, pack your bags at night time and have them ready. I am not asking this b/c it benefits me. I am asking you this b/c 1. It will keep you a lot more organized, and it will keep us from running around looking crazy. If organization is one of the things keeping you off of the all A list, then let’s make it happen.
2. I expect you to keep your room clean, on Saturday mornings at 9am, cleaning begins. Clean your bathrooms, wash your clothes put away your clothes and have your stuff ready for Monday.
3. I expect you to be respectful at all times to all adults. Regardless, if you like people or not, you have to be able to handle your emotions. Do you remember that time Ms. Cookie was outside and fussing and cursing me out. Did I act out NO? Did I want too, yes!!!! but I knew I had to get a grip on my actions. It is really important that we work to get this under control b/c it is really keeping us from a lot of opportunities. If you are looking to be in performance group next year and be on your A game, it starts now!
4. I expect you to learn to appreciate your sister more. Yes, I know she may work your last nerve, but I really want you to work on your relationship a little more.
5. I expect hugs and kisses. You have been doing great with this!!! I am going to do the same.
6. I expect you to let me know when something is bothering you or if you just want sometime with me. Even if you don’t feel comfortable saying it maybe you can write me a letter.
7. I expect you to let me know the next time your period is on so I can show you how to put it in your calendar, so you will get an email days before it comes on.
I am not going to overwhelm you, but I just wanted to make a start, and I wanted you to know how much I truly love you and how extremely proud I am of you!
This was her response to me: